On the Outside
by Child Of the Faeries
Summary: A Joe-centered story. We all know about Tai and Matt and Izzy being the “inseparable trio”....but how does Joe feel?


Being On the Outsideby Child of the Faeries  
  
A Joe-centered story. We all know about Tai and Matt and Izzy being the "inseparable trio"....but how does Joe feel?   
  
  
  
Closing his eyes, Joe tried to smile, but he couldn't will the tears away. "It's not fair!" his bitter voice whispered, his eyes bleak and tired.   
  
"Is everything okay in here?" Jim asked, poking his head inside Joe's darkened room.   
  
"I'm fine," Joe said weakly, hoping his brother wouldn't notice the tears that had he had shed on his pillow.  
  
"Just girl trouble, eh?" Jim said with a smirk. "If you need someone to talk to, I'm in my room across the hall." He retreated, and Joe returned to his dark depression.  
  
There had been four of them. Four older boys, brothers in many senses. No one else would understand. Tai, Matt, Izzy, and Joe.... while in the Digital World, they grew close to each other, grew up with each other.  
  
"Why?" Joe said hollowly in the darkness. "Why are you three friends, and I, just the odd man out?"  
  
He had seen the three of them, smiling and laughing. The inseparable trio, Sora had said with a laugh. But she too, was feeling the strain. Their tight-knit group of friends.... was dissipating.  
  
Replaced. On the outside. Too old. All of these thoughts swirled around him, giving him a huge headache. Finally he closed his eyes and welcomed sleep.  
  
Never had he felt so alone.   
  
  
  
Joe approached slowly, his eyes wary. Everyone had been invited to a picnic at the park. Seeing all of the others, he narrowed his eyes, envy filling his heart.  
  
Davis kicked the soccer ball down the field to where his backpack lay, marking the goal. T.K. battled for a ball, stealing it from Davis and running up the grass lot. Kari and Yolei cheered from the sidelines, complete with Kari's pompoms. She must have come from cheerleading practice, Joe thought.   
  
Cody was seated on a stump a bit away, having a heart to heart conversation with Ken. Joe knew that Cody and Ken hadn't always gotten along, but now it appeared that they had set aside their differences and were going to be great friends.  
  
On the blanket sat Tai and Izzy. Between them lay Matt, his eyes closed and the Ishida smile beaming up at the sun. Tai said something and Izzy erupted into giggles, Matt's face changing to a smirk.   
  
Joe sighed. They didn't need him. He... didn't fit in with them anymore. He turned to leave. "Hey Joe, where are you going?" Izzy asked, standing up. Joe cursed silently under his breath, but turned around with a bright smile.  
  
"Hi guys! I haven't seen you all in a long time!" He sat beside Izzy, and noticed three green dress coats thrown in a pile.   
  
"We thought... if the water is cold enough, we'd take a swim," Tai explained. "Want to join us?"   
  
Joe looked at the sparkling water down by the lake, and remembered his cute little Digimon and the good times they had shared. "No, I'd better not. I might be allergic to something in the water."  
  
A typical Joe answer. Why couldn't he break the old habit? They were just trying to be his friend... perhaps it was his fault that he no longer fit in. They all went to school together- Joe was too busy trying to get into the best school possible. The three of them had plenty of free time to pal around- all Joe could do was study.   
  
"Suit yourself," Matt said, picking up his pair of blue sunglasses. He perched them on his face and smoothed down his unruly hair. "Hello, my name is Joe Kido, and I'm allergic to everything on this planet, please don't touch me or I might break." Tai and Izzy started to laugh, and Joe made a feeble attempt at a smile.  
  
It wasn't his fault he was nerdy and careful. He wasn't given the Crest of Reliability for nothing. "You really shouldn't make fun of me," he said softly.  
  
"We love you, Joe. Honest. But sometimes.... You just need to light-up a little bit," Izzy said. "I mean, look at me. I'm still the computer geek that I used to be, and now I have a social life... well, sort of. I have best friends and a girlfriend, even if she does live in America, and I no longer live to use my computer. Put those books away and live your life while you're still young. I have calculated that you have precisely eleven years in enjoy life before you will crack under all of this stress you put yourself under."  
  
"Thanks for the lecture, Izzy," Tai said, playfully shoving his friend. "C'mon, lets for that swim."  
  
The three of them stood up and took of their shirts and shoes. Laughing, they turned and headed for the lake. "Wait!" Joe called out, hastily tugging off his shoes, and shirt. "Wait for me! I'm coming!"   
  
The cold water pricked Joe's skin as he cautiously waded his way towards where Matt stood, immersed up to his waist in water. Tai and Izzy came running by, splashing water all over Joe. He sighed and continued wading towards the others. "Are we supposed to be in here?" Joe asked, looking around uncomfortably. No one else was in the water.  
  
"Of course not," Tai said, rolling his eyes. "Why else would they post a sign saying not to swim because of strong currents?"  
  
"There are strong currents in this water?" Joe asked, his eyes widening. "I don't think-"  
  
"Joe." Matt gave him a glare. "It's okay. We do this kind of stuff all of the time. People call us the Inseparable Trio of Trouble! Plus, we know where not to swim because the current's too strong." He turned, splashing Tai. A huge waterfight ensued.   
  
Joe drifted towards shore, trying to get away from the splashing boys. Tai pushed Izzy, and he float out to where the water was well over his head. "Knock it off, Tai!" Izzy yelled as he tried to swim back to where the others were. "You know the currents too strong out there for me to swim!" As he said this, his head ducked under the water.  
  
"Izzy? You okay out there?" Matt called, trying to talk to his friend. Izzy waved his arms feebly and flailing his feet.  
  
Joe didn't wait for Izzy to answer. He dove into the water and took off for Izzy. All of the those swimming lessons he had taken really helped out. Grabbing hold of his friend's back, Joe pulled him into shallower water. "What a stupid thing to do!" he yelled at Tai, chastising him. "Izzy isn't a strong enough swimmer to be out there! If I wasn't here, he could have drown!"  
  
"But he didn't," Tai taunted. "Super Joe to the rescue, like always. "He laughed.  
  
"You guys used to be my friends," Joe whispered. "What happened?"  
  
"You grew up, Joe," Matt said softly. "You are too grown up and mature for us. We just want to have fun. Take a couple of dares."  
  
"Live life to it's fullest," Izzy chimed in, coughing out water.   
  
"Fine. That's perfectly fine with me," Joe said crossly. "You guys can kill each other for all I care. I'm leaving."  
  
"Oh Joe, don't be like that," Matt laughed, splashing him. "We were just joking around."  
  
"Some joke.... ha ha," Joe remarked dryly, stepping onto the shore. "Your irresponsibility will kill you some day."  
  
"Well, if it does, I expect Old Reliable to be at the funeral!" Tai called to him, and Joe scowled.  
  
They weren't worth it, he decided as he pulled his shoes on. They were young and foolish and....... He gazed at the three of them diving underwater and attacking each other and in his heart he longed to be included.   
  
  
  
"And for Monday, students, I'd like you all to write a poem." The class groaned, and Joe felt his heart fall. Poetry definitely was not his thing. "Oh, it won't be that bad, trust me," the teacher said, her eyes glittering. "Class dismissed. I want those poems on my desk first thing on Monday! Have a good weekend!"  
  
Joe walked out of his class with the other students of his elite school, and he was proud that he attended in. All of the best students went to his school.  
  
But as he walked home, he passed another high school...It was lower in status, not quite an average high school, but still, it was a decent school to attend. With a start, Joe realized that it was the school Matt, Tai, and Izzy attended.   
  
On impulse, he walked inside to open doors. The halls were empty, devoid of students or teachers. Unlike Joe's neat and tidy school, this school had announcements tacked everywhere. Teenage Wolves next concert Thursday starring Matt Ishida. The soccer team won again, lead by team captain Tai Kamiya. Computer Club held every Wednesday with Izzy Izumi. Joe frowned and walked down the halls.  
  
So this was what is was like to be normal, he thought bitterly. To relax and enjoy live, just doing what you wanted. Joe felt a sorrow deep in her heart, a longing to attend this school, just so he would fit in. It was hard being on the outside.  
  
Sitting down in the dirty hallway, he pulled out a piece of paper. Tears dripped from his eyes, staining the words he wrote with liquid finality.   
  
  
  
On Monday, Joe turned in his poem and took his seat near the back. The teacher put in a video, and everyone sat back in their seats, ready to sleep. Joe looked out the open window and wondered what his "friends" were doing right now.   
  
The bell rang, announcing class was over. While everyone got up to leave, Joe remained motionless in his seat. "Joe? This is a really good poem," his teacher commented, setting the tear-stained paper in front of him. Top Score in the Class! she had written in bold letters. Joe looked at the paper and sighed.  
  
I'm on the outside  
  
So alone  
  
And you smile while  
  
You spin circles  
  
and laugh  
  
With all of your other friends  
  
  
I'm still alone  
  
  
And you try to be perfect  
  
Try to fit the mold  
  
But I'm different   
  
I'm special  
  
Mocked and make fun of  
  
By the ones I call my friends  
  
  
I'm so alone  
  
  
You say you care,  
  
so insincere  
  
You play me for a fool  
  
But I smile and pretend  
  
That everything is so grand  
  
And wish the world away  
  
  
I'm alone  
  
  
Do you know how it feels  
  
To have no one at your side?  
  
Do you think about how I feel  
  
When I see you smile  
  
Having a good time  
  
Without me?  
  
  
I'm afraid and I'm alone.  
  
  
But you don't seem to care.  
  
  
"It's hard being on the outside," he said with a sad smile as he gathered his things and left the room.   



End file.
